A couple days ago I was at a Muslim wedding.  A couple of friends and I were talking to the groom giving him our salaams and congratulations before leaving.  I off-handedly remarked to one of my buddies that we need our own American Muslim wedding traditions. I know that at Pakistani wedding the bride’s siblings will steal the groom’s shoes and hold them for ransom. At Egyptian weddings we must endure ear piercing ululations. Why not something original for Americans.

I suggested, quite innocently of course, that we kidnap the groom before his wedding night, shove him into a car and drive off. This would be the epitome of jerkdom, which is partially why I thought of it, but it was too evil to actually put into practice … or so I thought.

I turned away for one second only to discover that my two friends had already acted out my fleeting fancy and were hauling the groom out of the hall. After stopping and posing for several photo opportunities they finally made it to the door but the groom’s panicking eventually forced them to put him down. Apparently, the groom thought that they were taking him to the pool were he would be summarily immersed, tux and all, into quite chilly water.

I didn’t know why he would think we would do such a horrible thing until I later discovered that the photographer and the camera man were chasing us and conspiring to have him tossed into the pool so they could immortalize all the drama simultaneously on film and tape. I guess you have to be careful who you hire nowadays.

Well, there you have it, the tempestuous birth of the first Uniquely American Muslim wedding tradition in history!

Anyone have a unique American Muslim Wedding story they would like to share please post in the comments.

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