“Spontaneous, Science Fiction, Politics.” What on earth could these mean? These three words were written in a list on a white board in a friends bedroom. I was stumped and he was away in the bathroom or something when I discovered them. I was rather flustered that I couldn’t get the instant gratification I wanted by asking him what all this was about and settling this mystery.Lucky me, when he returned, he refused to explain what these three words meant. He just kept brushing it off as “nothing.” It OBVIOUSLY means something, and his refusal to tell me made me want to know more. To say that I was annoyed would have been an understatement. What could those three things have to do with one another.

Pestering him did no good. He was not going to tell me what they were about. This mystery was driving me crazy. We parted that day and for a good three days later I kept on turning the gears on this damn mystery. Eventually I gave up, nothing made sense.

One day, many weeks later, after I had forgotten about the mysterious list, he had asked me to help him out with something. When I arrived to lend a hand I happened to meet him while he was having a conversation with another person. When I heard the word “spontaneous” being used the memories flashed back and my ears perked up eagerly. He was talking about the qualities he wanted in a wife!!! He was saying that he was interested in a woman who was spontaneous.

Needless to say it wasn’t long before I connected the dots and realized that he also wanted his future wife to spontaneous, interested in politics and a fan of SCIENCE FICTION. At that moment, so many cracks, jokes and burns came flooding to me in one instant that I was speechless. A rare moment, indeed.

At first the jokes began with a trickle and then … a deluge. He was a silent, helpless victim. I’ll spare you the droll puns. But I cannot help but remember my crowning burn: “Bro, what are you looking for? A wife who will whisper sweet nothings in your ear … IN KLINGON?!?!?” LOL! Priceless!

If you have a story about a friend with odd, weird or plain ridiculous criteria for a potential spouse, please share.